#but hey i was still under 50 pounds

[cleonard-ricsummerinenglandblog]

Independent Reviews 4 - Gay’s the Word

I’m a terrible queer English major. I had no clue about the existence of this store, nor had I ever really gone to bookstores, LGTB+ or otherwise in the US at all, not even Powell’s when I lived in Portland for a few months. But I followed some classmates here, and I was quite happy I did. Gay’s the Word is the oldest queer bookstore in the UK, founded almost 20 years before I was born, and it was a great place to visit. Not only for its selection, but for its historic value. Albeit, the selection was good, and I bought three books here that, while maybe I could have gotten them in the US, I thought, screw it, let this place have my money. 

The store had it’s history on the walls, with historic pins from the UK’s queer history, and books I know you’d never see anywhere near a ‘normal’ bookshop. Places like this are important for things like that. Also I like the tote bag I got there that says the shop name. It’s simple and blunt. 

[immeasurablesaladagere]

A Wildcard is Active - Team Self-Sufficient

-----

Words: 4973

Series Summery: Set in a hypothetical fourth session of Wild Life in which each player has a 50/50 chance of being turned into a kid (ages 4-8) or remaining an adult for the week. How will the adults manage their tiny teammates? How will they keep them out of trouble? And how dangerous could a red or yellow toddler really be? Told from a variety of group POV’s, all with their own challenges over the course of a hypothetical session 4. 

⭐️ Fun fact! Every character's child/adult role was actually determined by coin toss (head=adult, tails=child)! All of these dynamics were chosen at random and some were pretty perfect. I just had to do it when I saw this pair.

Fic Summery: By a stroke of bad luck, both Gem and Joel end up as children and are determined not to let anyone know. There are reds about, it’s not safe for them to be alone without an adult to protect them. When they run into trouble in a cave, they're forced to ask the Bamboozlers for help.

----

On the first morning of the fourth session, Joel allowed himself to stay in bed just a bit longer and take in the snail-less peace and quiet. No more running about, constantly looking over his shoulder for deadly flying mollusks, just a nice easy doze in the Charger, living the life.

Gem was already up and about, cooking breakfast by the smell of it. Somehow session three had been a breeze for her and now she was going around being all productive. Showoff. 

“Joel! Breakfast is ready!”

As much as he wanted to roll over and doze for another thirty minutes, the start of the session would wait for no man. They only had a short time before the next wildcard activated for the week and they needed to pound back as many calories as possible if they wanted to keep up with whatever craziness Grian had in store this time.

So out of bed and into their makeshift kitchen he went, rubbing the sleep crusties out of his eyes. “Quit your yelling, what if I’d been sleepin’ still?”

“Then you needed to get up anyway. Wildcard rolls in an hour, up and ‘attem!” Gem said with the chipperness of someone who hadn’t spent the last week fearing for her life, and slid two plates of eggs, toast, and bacon onto the table.

“Yeah, yeah. Easy for you to say, you dirty snail-lover.”

“Hey! Who made you breakfast?”

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry.” Joel shovelled a forkful of bacon into his mouth and groaned. “S’really good.”

Gem chuckled. “Well don’t make it weird! Maybe I shouldn’t be cooking for you.”

“No, please, I’ll be eating nothing but bread all season.” He whined. “Seriously, this is great, thanks Gem.”

“Well of course! We’re going to need the energy!” She finished her glass of milk in one go and got up to start putting her dishes away because holy moly, she ate fast. “What’s on the to-do list for today?”

There were about a million answers to that question, seeing as no one got anything done last week. Diamonds, finish the base, make traps, go to the nether; but of course what they’d like to do didn’t matter so much as what they could do once the wildcard hit. “Dunno. Some mining, maybe hit the nether if Grian hasn’t rigged it to explode or sumfing. I need redstone and gunpowder.”

“Ooo, yeah, the nether sounds good. I don’t know if they’ve found the fortress yet, so maybe there’s still some potion stuff left.” 

The moment the last piece of toast was in his mouth Gem was snatching his plate out from under him and dumping it in the sink.

“Oi!”

She stuck her tongue out at him. 

Well, might as well get started on the list. “If gonna try to finish the base while nofing’s going on, head’s up for falling deepslate in here!”

“If you get rock dust in my kitchen I’ll put you on yellow!” She called after him.

The base was coming along nicely, it just needed a few finishing touches. Trim here and there, polish the windows, sand off a few edges. He grabbed his tools from the starter base and climbed up onto the hood of the car. Maybe he could even finish before the session started.

-

“Joel! Wildcard!”

He could not. Joel sighed and set down his tools as the colourful ellipses appeared in his vision and Gem came outside. They had to be prepared for anything, and it was much safer to find out the gimmick together. They both braced for the worst. Floor is lava? Levitation? Permanent nighttime? More snails?

A Wildcard is Active.

The two of them did a hasty once-over of themselves. 

“Hearts and hunger are the same,” Gem reported.

“No effects, and you’re not dying right now so no floor-is-lava. Darn, I was hoping for that one.” He didn’t feel any different, and nothing around them seemed immediately strange. It was almost more unsetting that he couldn’t pinpoint the twist right away. 

“You were hoping I would die?” Gem asked incredulously.

“No, no, but you know what I mean. I was so sure that’d be one of them!” He patted himself down. “I don’t feel weird. Do I look weird?”

“More than normal? No.” She smirked.

“Wow, rude!”

He was about to accept that maybe Grian had miraculously decided to do something low-key this session. Maybe it was nether-based or mob-based and wouldn’t be nearly as big a deal as the murder snails and the hunger. Sure, it would put a mild spanner in the works but they would live. But then he felt it. His entire body suddenly felt… buzzy. Like pins and needles all over.

“Um, actually… Maybe I do feel a bit weird…” 

Gem shifted from foot to foot, rubbing a hand up and down her arms. “You feel it too? What is that?” Her eyes widened. Uh oh. “Oh my— Joel, you’re smoking!”

“I know that Gem, but I’m married so—“ Oh. Sure enough, his arms were giving off a faint purple mist, and now that he noticed it, so was Gem. “Woah, you’re smoking too! What on earth is this? Gah, I hate this feeling!”

In seconds the smoke went from tiny wisps to thick fog that surrounded him completely, and he could just barely make out Gem disappearing behind her own cloud as the smoke consumed him and everything went dark.

Then a moment later he was back again, lying face down on the car and tingly all over. He groaned. Was it weakness? Why did he feel like he was just tossed around by a ravager? He went to sit up and was rocked by a wave of dizziness. “Ugh, oh dear…” He mumbled, and then slowly his words caught up to his spinny brain. 

Something was wrong with his voice. It was higher, and weirder. 

“Joel!?” Came a squeaky cry from the ground, one that sounded eerily familiar. 

He shuffled forward to the edge of the base and oh, that was a long way down. Standing in a fun-size suit of armour and using a sword much too big for her to prop herself up was Gem. Tiny Gem. She looked no older than seven, maybe eight at the absolute most.

“Gem! What’s happened to you?” He called down, and yeah, his voice was definitely wrong. 

“Me? What about you? You’re teeny!”

He took a proper look at himself and his new tiny body, squishy arms, and stubby hands. Oh, this was terrible. 

“Are we all kids? Is that the twist!? That’s horrible!” How were they supposed to survive like this!?

Gem fumbled to pull out her spyglass and looked across the field to their neighbours. “No, not everyone! Tango’s still big over there, but Etho and Bdubs are little!”

“So only some of us? And we both get made into stupid toddlers? That’s not fair!” He pouted.

Their communicators were suddenly flooded with messages, mostly panicked gibberish from everyone who had been baby-fied and gushing from everyone who hadn’t. From the looks of it every group had at least one normal adult; between Scott, Cleo, Pearl, and Impulse there were three, except for them.

“This is bad, right?” Gem asked nervously, “There’s yellows and reds and if they know we don’t have someone protecting us… what if they kill us?” Joel hadn’t even thought of that. “Come  down from there, we should find a place to hide!”

He went to climb down, but stopped when he saw the steep drop down the windshield to the ground. Suddenly his stomach was twisting into knots and he couldn’t bring himself to slide down. “Uh…”

“What’s wrong?” Gem asked with a look of growing worry, “Are you… scared?”

Joel’s ears burned. “N-no! Just, um…” So it was messing with their heads as well.

Gem seemed to understand, and careful to stay out of sight from their nosy neighbours, she crept around to the front of the car and built up a few blocks. When she got close enough, she held out her arms for him to slide into. “I’ll catch you.”

Absolutely not. He would rather die right then and there. “I don’t need your help!” 

Gem rolled her eyes. “Sure you don’t, now come on, before someone sees us!” She hissed.

Without much of a choice, Joel took a deep breath and pushed himself down the hood of the car with a squeak and landed safely in Gem’s arms. Once he was safely back on solid ground, she immediately began to manhandle him.

“C’mon, c’mon!” She dragged him by the hand to their starter base and to his dismay, she was indeed much taller than he was, and she was able to pull him like he was a bundle of feathers. “Grab as much food and stuff as you can.” She said, and began rifling through their chests.

“Wha— okay, where’re we going?” The chests were so hugehe almost couldn’t reach into the bottom and he had to stand on his tip-toes to reach a pile of bread.

“We’re gonna hide underground. No one’s gonna wanna come look for us down there.” Gem said, like she’d thought the whole thing through already. She dropped a stack of torches and loose coal into her inventory.

“For all week? That’s a long time.” He pointed out.

“Yeah, I know, that’s why we’re getting all this stuff. We can come back up for food if we really gotta, but we can’t let anyone know that we’re both kids. That’d be super bad.”

Joel snickered. “You’re talkin’ funny.”

She scoffed, offended. “Am not! And don’t be mean to your elders!”

“You are not my elder! Look at you!”

“Uh-huh, and what does that make you? Look how small you are compared to me! You’re just a baby!” She teased, ruffling his hair.

“Oi, you—“

“—Gem? Joel? Are you here?”

They froze. Bdubs. And where there was Bdubs, there was Tango, and Tango was red. Gem hurried them to the wall and dug into it, boxing them in. They both held their breaths as multiple sets of feet walked around their base, and for some reason the whole thing felt a lot scarier than it should’ve been.

“Awe, they’re not here.” Bdubs.

“Do you think they’re kids, too?” Etho.

“Oh, I wanna see kid-Joel so bad! I bet he’d be real tiny.”

“C’mon Dubs, let’s go find the others.”

The footsteps walked away, and they both let out a sigh of relief.

“Let’s dig down.” Gem whispered. She lit a torch and the little box they were crammed in filled with light, which he liked a lot more than the dark. Joel tried his best to stay out of her way as she began to dig a tunnel down, and he was put on torch-duty, keeping it lit all the way down.

After what felt like forever, they finally hit a cave. It was really dark, which was both good and bad. Good because it meant no one had been there yet, and bad because Joel was very quickly learning his little kid brain didn’t like the dark very much.

“I don’t hear any monsters.” Gem said, peering into the hole, “Gimme the torches.” She took one more look around, then scooted down from their safe ledge into the cave. The torch in her hand lit up the walls around them just enough for him to see just how much further the cave went. It was already huge, but it seemed even huger because they were so small. The empty void made his stomach feel fluttery. He took out his sword and gripped it tight.

“Put the torches down, Gem! So the mobs don’t spawn!” He said urgently. Gem turned around and raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re really jumpy, huh?” She smiled.

“I-I’m not! We just have to be careful. What— w-what if mobs do more damage ‘cause we’re tiny? Didjya ever think of that, Ms. Not— uh, Afraid?”

It was meant to be a jab but she just started giggling. “This is adorable. You look so pouty!” 

She was so busy laughing at his expense she didn’t notice the creeper emerging from the darkness and scuttling towards her.

“Gem, watch out!” 

She whirled around just in time to pull up her shield before the creeper blew up in her face and sent her staggering back into the wall. 

“Are you okay!?” He called, timidly crouching over the ledge. 

Gem chuckled nervously, brushing off some of the stone bits that got on her clothes and hair. “Yep, all good! Maybe the torches are a good idea…”

As Gem placed down torches he cautiously climbed down into the cave, keeping a sweaty hold on the handle of his shield. He hated just how blummin’ nervous he felt. He shouldn’t have cared if it was dark or if there might be monsters lurking around the corner, but suddenly the thought of leaving the light and Gem’s side was the worst thing ever. Stupid kid brain, stupid kid body. 

“Okay! We’re okay, we’re fine.” She chirped, “We’ve got torches, an’ our swords and shields, we’ll be fine.” It sounded like she was telling herself that just as much as she was telling him, which strangely did make him feel better. At least we wasn’t the only scaredy-cat, even if Gem was better at hiding it than him. “Let’s go find some iron. We might even be deep enough to find diamonds!”

Right. Diamonds, iron, focus on that. “We’re gonna be so rich, Gem. All those silly fools up there are gonna be freakin’ out about being stupid babies and we’re gonna have full diamond!”

“There, that’s the spirit. Do you— um...” She offered her hand to him with a small smile. “You can be our shield, and I’ll protect us with the sword. How’s that sound?”

Joel scowled at her hand and reluctantly, to the death of his pride, took it. This was the worst day. He was going to have a talk with Grian when this was all over. The jerk was probably an adult as well, knowing him and the stupid universe. “Fine. But only for teamwork.”

“Teamwork.” Gem agreed, and they descended into the darkness.

-

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?” Gem asked, throwing a few more loose pieces of wood into their little campfire.

It wasn’t. Sure, the dark still wasn’t very nice and they hadn’t had much luck with diamonds, but their trek through the cave got them a lot of iron, nearly a stack between them. “I wasn’t worried. I knew we were gonna be fine the whole time.” 

“Uh-huh. And when you screamed like a girl ‘cause you saw a spider you were totally gonna take it down, right?”

He nodded, dumping as much raw iron as he could fit into the furnace. “Yep, you just got their first. Silly Gem, stealin’ my kills.”

Even though he’d been trying not to think about it, he appreciated what Gem was doing. Both of their minds were being affected by the wildcard, but it was embarrassingly obvious that he had it worse, probably because he seemed to be the ‘younger’ of the two of them. And all the while dealing with her own nervousness and keeping them safe, she was talking to him like a normal person and keeping him steady. The good-natured ribbing they exchanged kept everything feeling light when the scary cave sounds started to get to him, and she wasn’t being overbearing or babying him. It was almost like session one again; a normal day, just ever so slightly shorter than two blocks tall.

“Here, pork chop’s ready.” Gem passed him a stick with a cut of cooked pork chop skewered on it. Even without any seasonings, it smelled delicious.

“Fanks, Gem.” He devoured the whole thing in a few large bites, much to Gem’s disgust. One of the few upsides to being so small was that they were going through much less food than usual, and one pork chop was all he needed to feel properly full again. 

“So,” He burped, “We’re really gonna stay down here all week?”

Gem nodded and started making something on the crafting table. “Thas’ the plan.”

“Aw, but that’s a bit boring, isn’t it? I wanna have some fun too…” He kicked a little stone away and the clacking echoed off the walls.

“Do you wanna have fun, or do you wanna stay alive?”

How could she be so tiny and still act like such a mum? “Stay alive, I guess.” He pouted.

She turned around and laid a thin wool sleeping bag on the floor with the tiniest pillow Joel had ever seen. “That’s what I thought. I’ll take first watch. I didn’t bring enough wool, so sorry it’s not very good...” 

There was no way he could be upset about the sleeping bag, not when she was making that face. If they were on the surface, Joel was sure Gem could get them whatever they wanted just by giving someone puppy eyes. “No, no, it’s fine! It looks super comfy, in fact.” He crawled over to it and nestled inside to show her. Stones dug into his back. “See? I could fall asleep right now.” He made an exaggerated yawn.

Gem chuckled. “I ‘precicate it, but you don’t hav’ta lie. Your pudgy little face doesn’t hide anything.”

“Going to sleep now!” He yelled, turning over and pressing his face into the pillow. “Honk-shoo, honk-shoo, see? Sleeping.”

“Have a good sleep, Joel.”

-

“Joel, get up, get up, come on!”

Joel barely had time to remember where he was before a hand grabbed him roughly by the wrist and then they were running. His half-asleep legs stumbled to catch up and Gem was half-dragging him, and between his bleary eyes and the unlit cave he could barely see where they were going.

“Gem, what on earth— what’s going on!? What are we runni—“ Two arrows whizzed past his head much too close for comfort, and that woke him up.

“There were so many, I—I couldn’t kill them all!” Gem exclaimed. They took a hard left at a fork and two more zombies joined the chase from the right. There were at least six mobs behind them, probably more. There was no time to pull out their shields, they’d surely be overwhelmed instantly, which meant they’d just have to find a place to hide.

“Gem this is bad, this is so bad!”

Gem cried out as an arrow lodged itself in her shoulder, and then another. “I-I know, I know, keep running!”

They rounded another corner and skidded to a halt. Dead end. Joel raised his shield to catch another arrow but the mobs were getting close fast. They were dead. 

He yelped as Gem grabbed him by the scruff and pushed him into a corner. “Ow! Gem, what—?” She began haphazardly surrounding him in cobblestone, and Joel’s stomach dropped. “Wait, G-Gem, what are you— what are you doing?”

“I’m low, my shield’s almost gone,” She panted, and her splitting shield took another hit, this time from the zombie at the head of the pack gnawing viciously at the wood. “Stay in here, I’ll come back for you, okay?”

“Gem, no!” His heart was pounding. He could only see a sliver of Gem’s scared but resigned expression through the gap now. More zombies caught up, groaning and forcing her back. “Gem—!”

The last block slid into place and he was plunged into darkness just as the message rang out.

Geminitay was slain by a zombie

-

This wildcard is a nightmare.

Jimmy watched, exhausted, as Lizzie tried to coach Scar up a tree for the third time. While a good “parent” might have stopped it by now, falling out of a tree was about the safest thing they had been up to over the last twenty-four hours. If all he had to do was pass out snacks for regen every time Scar fell, that was fine by him.

He truly believed Grian’s games simply hated him personally. Why else would he be the only adult in his team? Theyellow life, the canary, the one who attracted death, keeping two children safe. What was the universe thinking? And of course in all the nonsense he hardly had any time to think about how he was going to get his next kill. Lizzie had been trying to help, but most of her ideas ended up drifting in a fantastical or hypothetical Jimmy-is-suddenly-amazing-at-pvp scenario and hadn’t come to fruition. 

“Jimmy, look! I made it!” 

Sure enough, Scar had finally managed to clamber up next to Lizzie on the branch, smiling proudly down at him.

“Wow, look at that! Don’t fall, please, I’m running out of bread!”

“I won’t, I’m being very careful.” Scar waved him off, then wobbled and caught himself. “See? Careful.”

“Mm-hm.”

Bzz-bzzt.

Oh? What’s gone on now? He pulled out his communicator.

Geminitay was slain by a zombie

<Smajor1995: ???>

<Grian: red/yellow kill??>

<BDoubleO100: gem’s baby I kno it>

Huh. Gem and Joel had been missing for the entire session so far, and for her to die to a zombie of all things, she must have been seriously caught off-guard. Or small, came the thought, but even then Joel probably would have been looking after her, what with his whole “family” bit. Was he seriously being a better parent than Joel right now? He smiled to himself. What an idea.

And so, continuing his streak of great parenting, he went back to supervising. 

“Wo-OAH!”

And down Scar went, taking Lizzie with him and hitting the ground with a thump. 

“Owwww, Scaaar! That hurt!” Lizzie whined.

“Sorry, sorry! I was tryin’a get higher!”

Jimmy just sighed and fished two more loaves of bread from his inventory. “Come on now, no arguing, just take your bread.”

Thankfully, even though Lizzie and Scar had proven themselves to be quite the tiny squabblers so far, the snacks seemed to settle them enough to just sticking their tongues out at one another and throwing crumbs. It was in the middle of their picnic when he heard someone yelling his name, and he turned to see Gem running towards him. Sure enough, she was a kid maybe the same age as Lizzie, and she looked all out of sorts.

“Gem! Where’ve you been, eh? What’s going on?”

“Y-You gotta��� you—“ She gasped, out of breath and stumbling over her words, “You— we need help!”

Jimmy raised an eyebrow. “What? Slow down, who’s ‘we’? You and Joel?”

Gem nodded quickly. “We— we were in a cave and I was s’posed to protect him b-but I couldn’t an’ there w-were so many mobs an’—!“

“Hey, hey, woah, easy.” He knelt down in front of her and put his hands on her small shoulders. This was still so weird. “Deep breaths, ready? In…” She took a harsh breath in. “Out.” She released it. “Now, tell me what’s happened.”

Gem swallowed hard and Jimmy swore he could see the faintest hint of tears forming in her eyes. “Me and Joel are b-both kids, a-and I said we should hide ‘cause we had no adult to protect us so we went into a cave. I-It was my idea an’ I was s’posed to keep him safe, b-but there were so many mobs and—and I di-died and now Joel’s trapped down there and it’s all my fault!” She blurted, and a few stray tears fell down her cheeks.

Oh boy. “Well, that is a lot, isn’t it?” He said rather stupidly, and then rushed to correct himself when Gem’s face scrunched up like she was about to start bawling, “B-But don’t worry, we’ll get this all sorted, yeah? Where is he? I’ll help you rescue him.”

“In a cave under our base. I gotta show you, w-we dug it ourselves.” She sniffled, seemingly calming down. Thank admins.

“Alright, well…” He looked over to Lizzie and Scar, who were watching with wide eyes. “Lizzie, I put you in charge. Go inside with Scar and play some board games or something until I get back. Or go play with the neighbours, whatever, just something safe, alright?”

Lizzie got a look of genuine seriousness about her and nodded, and the two of them ran off towards the mountain.

Jimmy offered his hand to Gem. “Alright, lead the way.”

-

The staircase down into their cave was a tight squeeze, but once they were in the mouth of the cave opened up considerably. For an undiscovered cave it was very large and, other than a few of Gem’s stray torches, very dark.

“Jimmyyy!” Gem urged, “Hurry, this way!”

“Right, right, hurrying!”

He heard the mobs before he saw them, and there were a lot. At least two skeletons, a handful of zombies, and a spider. No wonder they’d been overwhelmed, even he was going to need to be careful about this. He motioned for Gem to stay back and brought up his shield, steeling himself with a breath for courage. Why Gem came to him with this was beyond him, but there was no turning back now. Joel needed him. Heck, Gem needed him. He peered around the corner where the pack was clustered around a cobblestone box and noticed a single creeper mixed into the bunch. Bingo. 

“Hey, big stupid mobs! Come and get me!” He shouted, and the entire group turned to come towards him. The creeper scuttled faster, pushing its way to the front, exactly what he was hoping for. He hid behind his shield as they all clustered together and the creeper hissed to life.

BOOM

The only surviving skeleton was easy to cut down with his sword, and he let out a huff of relief as the bones clattered to the floor. He did it. Holy moly he did it.

“Joel!” Gem rushed past him to the cobblestone box and he followed close behind.

He helped her break away the cobblestone, and inside the box with not so much as a torch sat Joel, who was maybe even younger than Scar, curled in on himself and shaking like a cold strider. A tiny part of Jimmy, the tiniest, ugliest part, whispered in his ear how easy it would be to get a dark green kill right now. How simple. But he shut it down. No. Not like this.

“I-I don’ l-like this wildcard…” Joel whined, before bursting into tears.

“Oh Joel, buddy, it’s alright…” Jimmy tried to comfort. His hands hovered uncertainly. A quick glance at Gem told him she wasn’t doing much better and was just barely keeping it together. He needed to come up with something quickly. 

Without stopping to consider the possible awkward consequences, he did the first thing he could think of. He reached down and scooped Joel into his arms.

“Hey, shhh, you’re alright, you’re okay… shhh. Uncle Tim’s gotcha now, everything’s gonna be A-OK.” He hushed, letting every soothing phrase he could think of tumble out of his mouth like alphabet soup. He threw in a little gentle rocking, pet Joel’s hair, anything he could think of until finally the shaking and crying began to settle. The shoulder of his jacket was soaked through with snot and tears by the time Joel properly came back around, but that was fine. He would just have to dunk it in the river or something later.

Joel sniffled and sat up slightly, using one hand to scrub at his face while the other stayed firmly clutched in his shirt. “Ugh… sorry about that, Jim. This whole kid ‘fing sucks…”

“…Joel? Are you okay?” Gem mumbled, face flushed and eyes puffy.

Joel thought for a second, then nodded slowly. “Yeah. Just got a bit scary there, y’know? Stupid baby brain didn’ like the dark.”

“M’so sorry…” She warbled, sounding on the edge of tears again, and Jimmy had to put a stop to that right away.

“Nope, no more crying!” He announced, maybe a bit too loudly, “Everything’s alright now. You did the best you could, Gem. See? Joel’s still on six lives because of you.”

“But I—“

“No buts! You did a good job protecting Joel, and Joel was very brave for staying safe down here by himself. Can we all agree?”

“Haha, butts.” He heard Joel mutter against his shirt. Jimmy counted that as a win.

“Perfect. Now we’re all going to get out of this cave, and you two can spend the night with the Bamboozlers, how does that sound?”

“Like a sleepover?” Gem tilted her head like a puppy, and now that they weren’t in a crisis, man, these guys were cute. 

“Yeah, like a sleepover. C’mon now, I’ve got to get back to Lizzie and Scar before they destroy the server.” He went to set Joel down, only for him to cling tighter and wrap his legs around his torso like a koala. Jimmy was happy to keep carrying him; if he was being honest he expect Joel to start thrashing to be let go the moment he came back to himself, but if he still needed it then Jimmy certainly wasn’t going to judge. Plus, one day it was going to be an amazing story to hold over his head. Maybe not today, but someday.

“So,” Joel said, a cheeky smile on his face as they started up to the surface, “‘Uncle Tim’, huh?”

Jimmy wordlessly reached over and pushed Joel’s head back against his shoulder. “Hush.”

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Child Support

Shroud: Meow! (Jumps up onto Blake’s bed and sits on Blake’s stomach) MeooooooooOoOow!

Blake: Ugh! Alright! Alright! I'm up! Just get your fluffy butt off of me. I swear. You've put on some weight recently, and it's making those ice picks you call legs dig deeper than normal.

Shroud: (hops off the bed and licks her paw nonchalantly before following Blake to the kitchen)

Blake: (puts a kettle of water on the stove and starts getting Shroud's breakfast ready. She glances at the sleek, black feline waiting patiently, amber eyes falling on the slight barrel in her belly) I don't know if you even need this. (cracks open can of wet catfood) You're getting chubby.

Shroud: (meows indignantly and visually huffs)

*Ding-Dong*

Blake: (Raises an eyebrow, glances at the apartment door, and back at Shroud) Did you invite someone over?

Shroud: (eyes glued to the bowl of food) Prrrrrrrrr.

Blake: (rolls eyes and places the cat's food bowl on the specialty feeding mat before answering the door) Hello?

Yang: (standing in the hallway confidently in a pair of orange cargo pants and white tank top, an absolute unit of a fluffy ginger tabby tucked under her arm) Hey! I'm Yang! Your new neighbor from down the hall. And this is Ember.

Ember: (purring contently as he's being carried around like a bag of feed)

Blake: Oh. Um. Hello. (Mentally: Oh, fuck! My new neighbor is hot!) My name is Blake.

Yang: Blake! Nice ta meetcha. Soooo... This is going to sound strange, but does a little black cat live here? Maybe female type?

Blake: (blinks and glances back into the apartment at Shroud eating peacefully) Y-Yes.... Why?

Yang: (shuffles and laughs awkwardly) Well, you see. A couple of weeks ago, I was out in the back courtyard with Ember here and got distracted. When I saw him next, he was...well...he was mounted up on a black cat. I tried to break them up, but she got away and scaled the fire escapes to a balcony on this side of the complex.

Blake: .....Mounted up?

Yang: They were fucking.

Blake: (jaw drops as she stares at the Goliath tabby and back at her substantially smaller black cat) Shroud! You little whore. I thought you were fixed! Is that why you're getting fat?

Shroud: (licks her chops before trotting over to the door) Meow.

Yang: Yeah, I thought Ember was neutered, too. He never sprayed or scratched at furniture or was ever aggressive!

Blake: (groans and covers her eyes) I'm more wondering how that miniature tiger of yours didn't smother her. No offense.

Yang: None taken. He's a big boy. (Whips Ember around so he's cradled in her arms but is still spilling over)

Blake: (sighs) Well, thank you for letting me know I have to deal with kittens in the coming months. I thought she was just getting fat.

Yang: Oh! There's more! (Slings Ember over her shoulder like a feather boa, reaches towards the wall, and pulls out a 50-pound bag of kitten food) Child support!

Blake: Oh, my. (Takes the bag with some difficulty) Um. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Yang: No problem! It's the least I can do considering my boy (pats Ember's side with solid thuds) got your little lady pregnant. (Reaches down and scritches Shroud under the chin)

Blake: (shocked)

Yang: So, I was thinking maybe we could check in with each other every once in a while? For the kittens! I'm willing to help.

Blake: (trying not to stare at Yang’s muscles) Right! For the kittens! That would be nice! Thank you.

Yang: Don't mention it! But I'll get out of your hair. My apartment is just down the hall, third door on the left, if you or Little Mama need anything. See ya around, Blake!

Blake: I'll see you around (closes the door and stares at Shroud in disbelief) You had to get knocked up by a damn near domesticated tiger whose owner is also a blonde bombshell?

Shroud: Meow (purrs and rubs up against Blake’s legs)

Blake: (sighs and picks up Shroud before moving to the couch) Let's get you a vet appointment.

Yang: (quickly sprints back to her apartment, locks the door, and holds Ember up to eye level) You just had to knock up the pretty little black cat who just so happens to have a hot owner, didn't you?

Ember: Mow

Yang: I am not a disaster!

[bluemantics]

Lance breathed in a ragged breath.

In, out.

The soot fogged up his helmet, choking him up, but he still pushed onward. Step after step after step. In, out. His breathing was labored. His armor was dirtied. His limbs ached.

“Keith?” Pidge’s voice rang out over the comms.

Keith had come after Lance when the Galra had made the threat, when Lance dove down into that waste of a planet. At first, he’d been held back by Shiro. Keith was somewhere on this planet now, but Lance couldn’t focus on him. He had other priorities. Keith would be fine.

In, out.

Lance focused on his breathing instead, tuned out the outside sounds of the paladins calling for Keith and him. With each struggling step, his bayard illuminating the way, he dragged himself over to the cave home.

It’s curtains were drawn, and no light came from within. The only sign of life were the heat signatures his helmet picked up.

Fuck, the air was rough.

“Lance, your helmet is broken,“ Allura started.

Lance shut off the comms. Anything distracting him was preventing him from reaching /them./ He pushed his way through the curtain entrance.

There she was.

Huddling under a table in the corner was a small girl, a blue-scaled dragonling humanoid with bright red eyes. She was trembling. Lance got down on his hands and knees, crawling over to her.

In, out. His throat hurt.

“Hey,” he said softly, a rasp tickling his words. “I’m a Paladin of Voltron. I’m here to save you from the fires.”

The alien girl croaked out a whimper. She clearly didn’t recognize him, but her planet was a member of the coalition… fuck. Lance knew what he had to do.

He removed his helmet.

“See?” Her eyes lit up with recognition.

“Loverboy!” she exclaimed. Lance winced at his stage name, laughing outwardly to reassure her.

“That’s right, and I’m here to save you,” he agreed, reaching his arms out to her. Without the meager protection of his helmet, he was really starting to feel woozy. Still, that didn’t matter.

With shaking hands, he picked her up and began to walk outside the cave home and back to Blue.

This time, though, the trek was worse. He couldn’t see as well without his helmet, couldn’t recognize heat signatures or the fastest path back. Instead, he relied on lighting up his footsteps and retracing his steps.

That didn’t last long.

After 20 steps, Lance began to feel dizzy. He lurched, which caused the girl to make a series of clicks.

In, out. He patted her back and continued on.

After 50 steps, Lance started to lose the edges of his vision to blackness. He could feel the mucus in his throat fighting his inhalations. He fought back harder. He would have to reach a level of survival that went beyond what he could handle. To save her.

In, out.

Finally.

120 steps.

Lance fell to his knees.

The girl screamed.

Lance was only a football field from Blue. He had failed.

The girl scrabbled her claws at his armor, wailing, her cries embellished by the distant sound of crackling fire. Lance closed his eyes, listening to her pain, letting it soak in. He’d failed her, and this was his punishment, to lie prone and to hear her suffer. He had failed.

In, out.

He felt a tug to some hidden darkness inside of him.

“Lance!”

Oh, that wasn’t supposed to happen.

Lance felt more than heard the pounding footsteps of Keith Kogane as he ran to his side, kneeling by Lance’s head and cradling it in his hands.

“Stay awake, Lance, I have an O2 mask and we can get the girl to safety—“

“Loverboy!” The girl insisted.

Keith’s head snapped up. Lance chuckled weakly, coughing at the end.

“What?” Keith asked.

“She knows… shows,” he muttered in response. Keith huffed a breath, fogging up his helmet.

“Oh.”

Lance coughed again, and Keith panicked, pulling a mask from his belt. “Stay awake.”

“Loverboy,” the girl insisted again, tugging on Keith’s shoulder.

Lance blinked slowly. The world was slow. Why was the ash now falling on his face in slow motion? Why was Keith putting the mask on so slowly?

In, out.

Lance blinked. The darkness came back. He closed his eyes.

“No, Lance, no.”

Lance wasn’t listening. It was more peaceful, here, to focus inwardly rather than on the voices out there. It was quiet and dark and cool. The fires couldn’t touch him here.

“Loverboy? Stay with me, please. Please.” The rawness in his voice made Lance’s eyes snap open.

“Keith? I’m really trying…”

Words were too difficult, though.

So Lance let his heavy eyelids fall, let the blackness rush in. He felt the mask press into his chin and nose.

“I know, Lance.”

Silence again.

In,

[starlightsuffered]

My Boyfriend’s Sister’s Boyfriend

Warnings - panic attack

I woke up with a pounding headache to my ring tone. I looked at my phone to see it was my mother. I groaned as I answered.

"Hey," I croaked.

"I have wonderful news!" She squealed. Her shrill excitement hurt my ears.

"Not so loud please," I said.

"Sorry, it's just so amazing. You have to promise not to tell," she requested.

"I promise," I said, laying back down and throwing an arm over my eyes.

"Dillon is going to propose, he got a ring!" I sat up immediately. Marriage? He thought we were marriage material? I felt like I couldn't catch my breath.

"I can't wait. My best friend will be my co-mother-in-law! We'll be together at all the family gatherings. Your father is so excited. "

My heart was going a mile a minute. I was panting. My mother kept going on and on.

"I've got to go," I choked out. I'd let her think I was overwhelmed with emotion, which in a way I was. The emotion wasn't happiness though.

My breath was coming in short bursts. My vision was blurring. I couldn't breath! Panic was washing over me. I hugged myself, rocking back and forth. This couldn't happen. I wasn't ready, I didn't even want to, but I'd be disappointing everyone. I'd gone out with him out of convenience. I was still with him out of an urge to not disappoint him and my family. What was I going to do?

The panic attack lasted until I began to dig my nails into my palm to ground myself. I would just find a way to avoid it. I wonder how my mother knew?

My thoughts wandered to Timothée. Each time I'd tried to picture walking down an aisle to Dillon, Timothée ended up being there instead. Last night had changed me. I didn't think I was a person who fantasized about cheating, I didn't think I was a person who believed in love at first sight. This was all so surreal.

I needed to get my mind off of this. I went to get ready. I headed out the door. I didn't quite know what I was going to do. I drove down to a cute section of the city that had up fairy lights. There was always stuff to do around here.

'Cooking class' was advertised on a sign. Apparently some famousish chef was from here and she'd come to offer classes around town for only $50. It sounded like fun, and I needed to advance my knowledge anyway, I usually made the same meals over and over.

I went in and paid. They told me where to go, and I made my way to the room. The teacher was a middle aged lady with a kind smile.

"I'm so glad you joined, we have someone in need of a partner."

I nearly dropped my bag when I saw who was sitting at the table with a vacant seat. Timothée also seemed surprised to see me. I walked over, as if I were in a dream.

"Hi," I said sheepishly.

"What are the odds of this?" He asked with a chuckle.

"Slim to none," I replied. It seemed the chances of everything that involved him were slim to none

"You're supposed to put on an apron," he said, gesturing to a pile. I took one off the pile and slipped it over my head. I sensed someone was near me and I saw Timothée had come over.

"Let me tie it for you," he said with a smile. We both seemed to know what this meant. It was an unneeded gesture. We just wanted an excuse to touch one another.

I turned around slowly. I felt his fingers brush my back as he tied my apron. I had to hold back a shudder.

I turned around and faced him. We held eye contact until the teacher gave us instructions. It was obvious Timothée and I were out of our league. I'd hoped this would be a starter dish, but it was elaborate.

"I think I put in too much salt," Timothée giggled.

"Maybe she'll force you to eat the whole thing as a punishment," I whispered back.

"Students, why are we laughing? The art of measuring is no laughing matter," the teacher said and Timothée and I were struggling to hold in our laughter. The teacher was very self absorbed, and took this whole thing way to seriously. We were also pretty sure she was faking her accent.

"The art of measuring," Timothée mocked under his breath, in an exaggerated accent. I could barely hold it in.

"Your laugh is cute," he said, and I felt my cheeks heat.

"Yours is dorky, but in a good way," I told him. He pretended to be offended.

"You're telling me, Timothée Chalamet, star of the little theater down the road, coach of elementary soccer, that his laugh is dorky?" He asked.

"Sorry, I didn't know I was dealing with such an accomplished celebrity," I laughed.

"Soon, I'm going to add master chef to the list," he said, pointing to his absolutely tragic looking dish.

"A well deserved title in deed," I chuckled.

After a couple minutes of silence, I asked him a question.

"Do you really do plays near here?" I asked.

"Yeah, there's a little theater like a mile away, I audition for most of their stuff."

"Anything showing right now," I asked.

"No, but we're prepping. In like a week we're premiering with Willy Wonka, I'm Wonka," he told me.

"You could-" he said at the same time I said "Could I."

"You go first," he said generously.

"I was going ask if I could come or if that would be weird," I said.

"I was just going to say you could come if you wanted. I'd love to have you there," he said excitedly.

"It'll be weird for Willy Wonka to be hot, I watched the old one all the time as a kid," I said off-handedly.

"Ohh?" He asked, innuendo laced in his tone. I realized what I had said.

"So you think I'm hot?" He said, and he knew it was dangerous. He knew the answer and this was worrisome territory. I looked at him and his eyes were dark. I bit my lip, and I watched as his eyes dropped to my lips.

"I think-"

I was saved from answering by the teacher telling us to bring up our final product. I grabbed my dish, moving to the front quickly, to avoid Timothée's questioning eyes.

I got a better assessment than Timothée did. The teacher looked absolutely disgusted by his dish. She told him he was hopeless. We were now outside in the heat of the setting Sun, laughing about it over ice cream.

"You've got some on your lip," he said suddenly, and lifted his thumb to wipe it off. I was transfixed for a moment as I looked at him. The setting Sun cast him in a warm glow, he was practically luminous. I felt my heart beat quicken. It felt like I'd known him years. It also felt like my his heart was a magnet for mine, so attracted to its mate that it nearly pulled itself from my chest.

"I should probably be going," he said, having held his thumb to my lips for far too long.

"Alright," I said. This was the hardest part, the goodbye, because we knew neither of us wanted to say goodbye. We wanted to stay with each other forever if possible. Why did we have to meet at this point in our lives?

[irondiotallica]

Date Night

Yay, another blurb!!! I'm really liking writing again. It's been a long time since I've written with joy and no expectations. Also, Robin finally makes an appearance. Kraft Cheese Singles have existed since the 50s. Let that sink in. Anyway, here's the blurb. Hope you enjoy it!!! -Silas

[Steddie}

Steve Harrington was nervous. For the first time in his life, he was nervous. There wasn’t anything that should be causing this anxiety save for the date that he had tonight. He’s had a million dates before, but this one was different. Eddie was different.

“Robin, what do I do,” Steve asked with panic clear in his wide-eyed expression.

Robin looked at Steve like she had many times before and if she had a whiteboard near her, there would be a tally under ‘You Suck’. She rolled her eyes and fixed Steve with a confused glare. 

“Steve, I think you’re forgetting three very important things.’

Robin held up three fingers and began to count down as she continued speaking.

“One, I’m more single than a Kraft Single.”

“Two, I’m a raging lesbian.”

“Three, you’re the one who’s had a very fruitful dating life.”

Steve shook his head. He was distraught at Robin’s very sound reasoning. He knew he was being irrational, but it was Eddie. He didn’t know how to go about wooing Eddie.

“Robin,” he whined hoping to wear her down,” This is different. Eddie’s different. Help me please.”

“I can’t help you with this. You’ve already planned it. What do you want me to tell you?”

Steve wanted her to tell Steve that he was doing things right.

“I’m doing it correctly, right?”

Robin sighed at that and shook her head. She looked up into his face and felt her gaze soften at the sight of her platonic soulmate.

“You’re doing fine, dingus. No need to stress,” she paused and rubbed his shoulder soothingly,” You’re doing great so far. Okay, Steve?”

Steve let out a sigh of relief and smiled at her. 

“Okay, yeah. Thanks, Robin.”

“You’re welcome, Steve.”

There was a comfortable pause of silence before Robin broke it with a smirk.

“You owe me lunch on Wednesday,” she said as she packed up to head home.

Steve rolled his eyes with a grin.

“Whatever you say, Rob.”

Steve stood in front of the familiar trailer with roses in his hand. He was stressed and his once perfectly styled locks were now disheveled with the numerous times he had run his hands through it. He chewed his lower lip nervously before running his hand through his hair again. Finally, he bit the bullet and knocked on the door.

Steve listened amused as someone stumbled through the trailer, seeming to trip multiple times and stubbing something as Steve heard a quiet ‘God dammit’ and ‘Son of a bitch’.

The door flew open as Eddie came into Steve’s view. Steve felt his breath leave him as he took in the perfection that was Eddie Munson.

Eddie always looked good, but today he had Steve close to busting. Those dark curls were pulled up into a high ponytail with a few strands falling out around his face. His eyes somehow popped more than usual and his rings were polished to perfection. He had a Dio shirt that had probably seen better days on and a pair of jeans with not a rip in sight. His belt and chains completed the entire thing and made Steve fall for him all over again.

Suddenly, confidence and charm flooded his system.

“Hey gorgeous, ready for our date?”

Eddie grinned and responded in kind.

“I don’t know big boy, am I?”

With no hesitation, Steve handed Eddie the flowers with a wink.

“Not until you put those flowers away, wouldn’t want them withering, left to their own devices.”

Eddie flushed at what Steve was implying. Maybe Eddie had been right to think that he would be with Steve for a lot longer than just a date.

“Hold on,” Eddie said, still bright red in the face.

The flowers were placed in water and left on the kitchen counter with care. Eddie grabbed his jacket, keys, cigs, lighter, and whatever else he thought he needed. He locked the door before following Steve to the car. He watched Steve with a pounding heart and a face blushing even more than before as Steve opened the door for him.

“After you m’lord,” Steve said with a flourishing bow. 

“I love it when you start speaking nerdy with me.”

“Good, cause there’s a lot more for later when we’re in a more,” he paused leaning in until his mouth brushed against Eddie’s ear,” private situation.”

Eddie felt a moan bubble up in his throat at the feel of Steve on his ear. He managed to trap it, but God, Steve was driving him up the wall.

They buckled up and Steve turned to Eddie. 

“Let’s get going, shall we?”

Eddie nodded, not trusting his words. Steve grinned at that entwining his fingers with Eddie’s before peeling out of the trailer park to their date of the evening.

[extrafew]

Hey Extrafew!

First of all, u look amazing. Very sexy indeed.

So my question, when did u realised that u want to gain weight and how do you feel about it .

Greetings

Thank you!

I definitely had an interest in weight gain and bellies since as long as I can remember!! But I never really thought “omg I could get fat and have a belly of my own” until I was like 19/20. I was always a super skinny/underweight kid. In fact I got teased for being anorexic in high school (I wasn’t. Just crazy metabolism and was active)

So I tried pigging out and just adding more calories with snacks and when a few pounds stuck to my abs for the first time ever I was like “ooof. I love this. I want more.

I went from twink > to filled out > to “dude you been eating good” > to “man you need to diet” over the years. I was about 130lbs to start and my highest has been 225lbs (just under that now, for now 😉).

How do I feel about it?

I hate how complex it is but overall the older I get the more comfortable in my skin I get AND more health conscious… so while I do want to get a big round belly and add 50 or so more pounds to my body (muscle and belly), I have learned that what works for me is slow and steady! I do still keep the fact that I gain weight on purpose on the down low with my family and stuff, but I am definitely less shy now about calling myself a big boy and letting people know it’s okay to tease and point out my.. attributes 😂

It’s funny.. I remember being a skinny 130 pound man thinking “holy crap what if I get to 160 at some point…” and then before I know it I was 180 wanting 200, and well.. here I am at 220 wanting 250+

[rowanb3rries]

tmagp episode 18 thoughts. no or not a lot of context but still read at your own peril

index of these posts

4:10 i know alice is making a joke here but ... spider stuff huh...

4:30 "talked at by you" it really is that lmao

4:50 "other businesses" -- LIKE WHAT TELL ME!! STORES? CORPORATE OFFICES THAT AREN'T THE NIGHTMARE FACTORY?

6:00 every time alice expresses worry about someone i get like a fucking rabid dog about it. she's at arms length so often with her jokes that every time she's genuine i get Concerned but also frantic

6:30 "hey lena" "hello" and then the longest awkward pause on planet earth

7:10 lena is either a fucking alien robot or there is Something Going On with her too and i would guess the latter. sam's right, she barely talks to any of them except gwen

7:55 "is that its name" the scale in my brain tips slightly back toward robot

8:25 AUGUSTUS STATEMENT????????

9:20 20.03.2024, placing this death in between tmagp 014 and 015. closer to 015.

9:30 if you don't know pounds to kg, this is like. under 70lb. starvation and malnutrition indeed

10:40 this one is giving me the brain ants. i'm scrambling through transcripts. alice's dead person also recited things relating to her death

12:50 GOD he's such a good actor

14:15 this is such tma 170 vibes. god

14:30 SOMEONE ASKING QUESTIONS IN AN ALLEY? it's not ya boi but i can dream

16:25 yeah they both also caught that huh

16:55 look, you'd be following tradition

17:20 once again i'm struck by how fascinating it is that these stories are always post victimhood and the victim doesn't *get out*. tma, the statement was usually given by a survivor of something. but here? fuck

18:10 and here we see the difference between how alice and sam deal with shit. she won't touch it with a ten foot pole and he needs to get all in there and soak it in and really make sure he got the whole trauma out of it

18:35 confirmation she's seen people die in this job

19:30 gwen here lmao "i can't possibly tell them i've been interfacing with the horrors and they can read"

20:10 GWEN

20:40 this honestly sounds insane when she puts it like this. i mean it's insane to watch her do it but jfc

21:05 SAM'S LAUGH IS SO CUTE LMAO

21:30 : (

22:00 OMFG

22:10 "who keeps taking georgie's face" YOU CAN'T SAY IT LIKE THAT

22:50 "i'm not!" very obvious buzzing sound

23:25 what

24:00 i'm. holy shit man.

24:25 THEY'RE LEAVING ME LIKE THIS???????

prev | next

i have a kofi if you like this and want to help me keep doing it

[hypnoswap]

Son of a warlock #3

Just a day of fun

At 18 I received my powers,I learn how to cast spells I could hypnotize people and give them triggers to really improve themselves or make them look like idiots. It’s been a lot of fun over the last three years now that I’m in my last year of college I tend to try Improve the underdog, or taking down the alpha or bully a notch or too.

I still like to hit the gym It’s one of my favorite playgrounds. well today I get up had for the subway to go to the gym as I’m on the subway sitting across from me too good looking guys I couldn’t help but notice they both look like they were under endowed, one was reading the other look like he was ready to fall asleep, so I cast a little spell on them to increase their balls and cock 50 percent to see if they would notice as a cast the spell I look intently as there cocks started to stretch out and balls started to inflate the one that was reading I could see he was started to shift around in the seat he lifted his book up and looked down at his bulge You could see a look of bewilderment As he took his hand and coupled his junk as he had his hand checking out his new endowment Decided to give him another surprise and cast another spell to make it 25% more bigger as he had his hand there He could tell that he could feel it getting bigger as you could see his bulge getting bigger than his hand. The other guy sorta was just dozed off through the whole process.

So this is the kind of things I do all day long when I get bored. Well I arrive at the gym. I check in, go to the locker room change into my workout clothes. go to a treadmill to warm up The guy next to me I’ve seen many times at the gym his name is Jim we’ve had casual conversation he is a nice guy , every time I’m there. I pretty much watched him working out but with little change. well today I decided to make Jim his lucky day. I looked at the timer on those treadmill. He’s been there five minutes. I cast a spell on him for every minute he stayed on the treadmill. He would lose 1 pound of fat and gain 1 pound of muscle that day I was curious how far he would go so I stayed on my treadmill so I could watch him change as he kept going. It took about 15 minutes before I could really start noticing a difference. I looked over at Jim. He just smiled. Not realizing what was happening yet. I told Jim to keep up the good work you’re starting to look fit, he replied with a smile thanks another five minutes go by Jim looks down at his body, you could tell he looked confused, but he kept walking on the treadmill. His clothes were getting baggy on him , after another 8 to 10 minutes. Jim was really starting to look amazing at that point his shorts started to fall down his legs. He grabbed them and held them up and proceeded to the locker room, I wish I was there to see his look on his face when he looked in the mirror., the next time I saw Jim on the treadmill, he was shirtless, showing off his new hot body.

Well, I get off the treadmill head to the locker room as I was changing I hear a voice say hey Steve I turned around it was Pete a kid I talk to time to time, Pete was a skinny nerd type kid. I told Pete I’ve been seeing you a-lot more at the gym, how’s it been going? Pete replied well it’s been tough at high school. I’ve been getting picked on a lot because of my size so I’m trying to get bigger. I asked why are they picking on you? He said well look at me I am skinny and in the locker room, they call me teeny Pete. And I’ve seen Pete changed before he was teeny in every way, and I decided that I was going to change him that day. I told Pete that I can do hypnosis I can set triggers so he’ll wanna work out harder and he should get bigger in no time, Pete said that would be great. I would be up for that anything to get the boys off my back. So I Hypnotize Pete and give him a trigger that every morning he wakes up we’ll have the desire to go to the gym that each time he picks up weights he’ll get a pump that makes him feel really good the more he pumps the weights the better he feels at the end of the workout that he would feel amazing. He could feel his muscles growing and testosterone building up in his cock and balls you will have a sense of well-being and being proud of your body I let Pete remember the triggers and the conversation so you can remember and understand why he is changing so much . Pete thank me and say God, I hope this works. I told him my pleasure. I look forward to seeing what you look like in a month he just smiled then he asked me why did you tell me I would feel the testosterone in my cock and balls, I replied, I was hoping That that might trigger a late puberty and increase everything if you know what I mean, he just gave me a big smile said well that would be amazing and thank me again .

Little did Pete know I also was going to cast a spell to increase his success for every day for the next month that he worked out he would gain a pound of muscle and gain a quarter inch of cock and a quarter inch in his balls for the month . I don’t think he will be called teeny Pete for much longer.

Well, on the way home again I’m sitting on the subway notice a guy with a little bulge in his pants sitting across from me again so I decided to cast another spell because I was bored, that every five minutes that he stayed seated, his cock and balls when increased 25% as was sitting , five minutes go by and all of a sudden I see him start to expand a little he starts to move around in his seat , the man could feel he sack expanding he looks down you could see a slight smile and his face, another five minutes goes by and again he’s getting bigger again he looks down and I think he was starting to wonder what was going on. He tried to put his hands down to cover up the obvious bulge. But he remains seated , again another five minutes goes by and it started to look like his balls were going to bust out of his jeans now I’ll look of concern came over a face. it really did look amazing. There’s no way he’ll be able to cover that up for now on, but it was my stop so I had to get off. I just wonder how long he remain seated before he stood up and if he got any bigger.

I was sitting at home and about a month went by so I decided to go back to the gym to see if Pete had made a lot of progress. I’m hoping that he went to the gym every day he’ll be a big stud.

I arrive at the gym, started my workout. No sign of Pete was kind of disappointed. I walked into the locker room to change when Pete walked in and said hi, I looked at him and my jaw dropped. He looked really amazing. He came up to me and said thanks for everything that you did that hypnotism really works, I told him it was my pleasure and that he looked great. I bet you’re not being bullied anymore, Pete said no , they wanted to work out with me now, they wanted to know my secret. And that trigger to start a late puberty really worked. My balls are huge and my cock actually grew another 8 inches. No one calls me teeny Pete anymore. I can’t thank you enough you really change my life I told Pete enjoy your youth you worked hard for it. He had a sexy little smile on his face. He had a tear in his eye and actually came up and gave me a hug. After Pete left, I figured who can I help next it’s people like him that keep me doing what I’m doing

Well stay tuned for my next adventure. Hope you enjoyed. I accidentally hit post before I proofread I corrected my errors and reposted.🤣

[uwukillmenowowo]

𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐓𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥 [Tokyo Debunker X F!Reader]

[ 9 | Hera's Snakes] 『🐍』

Key's for the story: Insert - Narrative - And then she stared at her reflection in the mirror [Insert] - Author speaking - [Eyyy there- wazzup readers] "Insert" - Talking - "Hey there!" [But can also be air quotes] 'Insert' - Thinking - 'Dame he's cute...' "Insert" - Whispering - "I- I messed up..." [But can also be an emphasis on a word/phrase, or flashback] (Insert) - Inner mind..? - (Deadass doesn't know how to explain it here) *Insert* - Action - *Sighs with their head down*[INSERT] - Magic - [OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!] or [IGGNAIM!]

𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: [ 8 | Stalker] 『👀』

━━━✦❘༻🔮༺❘✦━━━

[Book 0] The Academy of Ghouls

[Chapter 9] The Anomaly Known As Hera's Snakes.

━━━✦❘༻🔮༺❘✦━━━

{Third POV}

~~~~~

Hm? I don't recognize you. Who are you?" Romeo asked, still pointing his rifle at the pair. "So you're Kaito's jealous pursuer." Luca asked, still under the impression that Kaito actually did have a romantic rival. "Excuse me? What part of this mushroom head could I possible be jealous of?" Romeo asked sternly. "Mushroom Head? Is that your nickname, Kaito?" Luca asked innocently.

"Of course not, he's just being an asshole! Come on, get rid of him!"  Luca hummed. "Let me confirm something first. This is your jealous pursuer, correct?" "Yes... I mean... Well..." In return to Kaito's bad lie, Romeo tisked. "That's the backstory you gave me? Is your financial situation so dire you can't come up with plausible lies?" Kaito flinched and stepped back. "What does he mean?" Luca asked.

"Do you really think I, Romeo Scorpius Lucci. Could be jealous of an off-brand man like him? *Hmph* This little toadstool is in my debt. I'm merely collecting what I'm rightfully owed." Romeo then took out a piece of paper and smirked. "Care to see the paperwork?" He mocked Kaito. In return, Kaito ran towards Romeo, desperate to grab the paper. "GIMME THAT!!" He exclaimed, only for Romeo to hold it higher than he can reach.

"Kaito, is this true?" Luca asked. Kaito sweat dropped and was about to answer, but then Romeo grabbed onto a pendent that Kaito was wearing. "How many times do I have to tell you? If you can't pay just hand over this pendant instead!!" "How many times have I gotta tell you, this is the one thing you'll never get from me!!" Kaito yelled before Luca decided to step in, "Let him go."

Romeo and Kaito turned to the transfer student. "Who the hell are you? Did you hear what I just said?" Then, Luca held up a large amount of cash. "Will this suffice?" He asked. Romeo smirked and let go of Kaito, in favor of the cash presented. "50 pound notes, hm? Interesting. They'd better not be counterfeit." Romeo took the money smirking and started counting. "one, two, three, four, five... twenty... the real deal." "Are you serious..?" Kaito asked, jaw wide open.

"You're quite a high-end man. He still owes another 2000 pounds of interest though. Sorry, but this won't buy his freedom." Romeo taunted and tilted Luca's chin up with his index finger. "WHAT?! You never said anything about interest!!" Kaito exclaimed. So Luca's gaze hardened and decided to challenge the claim. "All right. In that case... I'd like another look at that document."

Romeo's smirk fell and he tisked and glared at Luca. "There's nothing worse than a man with a brain..."

{Your POV}

~~~~~

"The ticket gate is closed???" I questioned aloud. I stopped short just before the Galaxy Express platform, unsure of how to get through the gate. A translucent wall with glowing letters blocked my path. "Tap Catsmo?" I read and groaned. "If I had to guess, it'd be an online TTC pass like Presto..." "Meow?!" I flinched and looked down, and screamed a little when a cat appeared out of nowhere. "Meow! meow!" The cat exclaimed and ran off. "Ah! Wait!" When I locked eyed with the cat, it meowed loudly and scampered off towards the main building."

"Oh sugar... Can these cats tell the chancellor where I am?!" Judging by what I'd seen them achieve so far, I could only assume they could... "I've already come this far... there's no turning back now!" I took out my wand and took in a deep breath. "White to red, and red to white. [Doodle Suit!]"

The gate turned into golden particles for a few seconds but as soon as I passed through I couldn't progress any further. "W-What?!" I tried to use doodle suit again but it didn't work. Then a shrill alarm sounded from the platform.

I heard footsteps approaching faster so I gasped and canceled doodle suit of the ticket gate and hid my wand. The alarm stopped and I sighed. "What are you doing?" I yelped and turned around to see Romeo there. Along with Kaito and Luca. "Are you all right?! Is the anomaly here?!" "Eeeeek... Oh god, please let it not be..." I held my hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry, I didn't know how to get onto the platform..."

Romeo glared at me and I reminisced the Savanaclaw situation all over again. "I knew it. What are you doing? Why are you wearing Hera's Snakes?" I blinked twice and calm down. "What..? Hera's Snakes?" 'The anomaly?' I couldn't make sense of that sentence, so I just stood there, dumbstruck. "Hera's Snakes..? That's the name of the rogue anomaly!" Luca pointed out and I nodded slowly. "Well, well, well," 'I don't like the smile on Romeo's face...' I thought and sweatdropped. "I didn't think it would come to me. I'll get a good price for this."

All of a sudden Romeo charged at me, rifle in hand. "You can pay back Fuji's interest WITH THIS!" I was about to pull out my wand to use Sleepy kiss but for some reason, the veil started attacking?!? "Eh?!" I cried out and stood still while Romeo dodged.

"GYAAAAAAHHH!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! ARE THOSE TENTACLES?! GROSS!!" Kaito exclaimed while Romeo pointed his rifle. "Did you... aim for my face?" I flinched and immidietly shook my head. "N-N-no! This veil just attacked on it's own I swe-" "SHUT YOUR MOUTH! I CAN'T STAND EXCUSES! SIH!!" Romeo aimed his rifle and this time I grabbed my wand. But as I was about to cast my spell, Luca interrupted, "[IGGNAIM!]" I gasped because Luca was standing in front of me, arms spread wide.

"What..? The trajectory was accurate, the bullet should have hit... Fine. There's more where that came from!" Another gunshot exploded in my ears but... "What..? Why are my bullets disappearing?!" I furrowed my brows and bit my lip. 'Luca... he's using his special skill." I awed. 'This was nothing like the spells in Twisted Wonderland. The only thing close was Floyd's Bind to the Heart.' 

The bullet was clearly heading straight towards us. But the instant before it hit Luca, it vanished, as though swallowed by some invisible force. Luca then turned around and grabbed my shoulders harshly so I winced. "I'll ask you just once. Did you deceive us?" His sharp, crystal-clear gaze bore into me so I answered honestly. "I'm sorry... But I just picked this veil up by coincidence, I swear..."

'I should have been honest with them sooner... I can't keep wearing something this dangerous even if it means they find out who I am...' I thought and grabbed the veil with both hands and pulled. "... H-Huh?!" I started to panic as I pulled harder. "I-I can't get it off!" Luca gasped and back off. No matter how hard I pulled at it, the veil remained stuck fast to my head. "It's stuck... why won't it come off?!" I questioned myself as I pulled even harder.

"All right. Calm down. I believe you." I looked at Luca with wide eyes. "Luca..." "We need to move away from here first. Then we can do something about that veil." Luca reached out his hand to me, and I placed my trembling palm in his unwavering one. "Thank you." I smiled softly.

"Hey! Are you trying to run?! Hand over Hera's Snakes fi-" "LUCAAAAA!!! HEY!! Why are you holding hands with [Y/n]!?!" I bit my lip as Kaito pushed Romeo out of the way and ran over to us. "Don't you dare run off without me!!! I'M!! HER KNIGHT!! IN SHINING ARMOR!!!!" "Kaito?!" I exclaimed, blushing in embarrassment. "Kaito! I want to go somewhere we can regroup and discuss out next move. Could you lead us there?"

"I was going to! Don't order me around! Follow me, [Y/n]!" Kaito proclaimed and started running so we followed.

But while we ran I looked back at Romeo, feeling a bit bad. "Ouch... Hey!! You think you can escape me that easily?!" But then I turned back. Kaito grabbed my other hand, and the three of us ran back the way we'd come.

"Meow! Meow! Meow! Emergency, emergency. A-6622-1,code name "Hera's Snakes", has escaped containment during transportation. It resembles a black veil. It is aggressive, and can change it's size at will. Presumptive class B. If spotted, please alert a staff member or ghoul student immediately."

𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫: [ 10 | A Ring?] 『💍』

[griseldabanks]

Oh, and to mix it up, how about 50 for Din and Grogu?

Prompt: "I know that face."

Let Me Count the Ways ask game

Contains mild spoilers for The Mandalorian season 3.

It wasn't the crash of thunder that woke him, nor the pounding of the rain on the roof. No, it was a small voice that cried out for just a moment before being stifled under a blanket.

Din's eyes popped open, his hand flying to the blaster at his side. Lightning flashed, for a brief moment illuminating the room where he lay. No intruders. The green light over the door indicated that all security systems were still online. No immediate danger.

But then a crash of thunder split the air, and Din heard a tiny squeak from the other side of the room. Turning his head, he switched on night vision and eyed the quivering ball of blankets on the small bed in the corner.

“Grogu?”

Slowly, the blankets lowered, until Grogu's enormous eyes peered over at him. He let out a tiny, plaintive squeak, his ears drooping almost straight down.

Din sighed, but a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth despite himself. “I know that face,” he groaned. “Yes, you can sleep with me. Come on.”

Thunder seemed to rip the very air in two. With a shriek, Grogu hurled himself across the room in a Force-propelled leap. His small body smacked against Din's breastplate with a painful sound, but Grogu didn't seem to mind.

“Careful,” Din chided, shifting Grogu from one arm to the other as he unfastened his breastplate and set it aside. “You'll give yourself a concussion or something.”

With a whimper, Grogu buried his face in Din's chest, his tiny claws poking Din through fistfuls of his shirt. He was trembling so hard, it was like holding a small motor.

“Hey, hey,” Din whispered, settling back against the wall and pulling his blanket up again, tucking it around Grogu's small body. “You have another nightmare?”

After a tense moment of listening to the thunder dying away, Grogu gave a single nod.

There'd been a lot of those lately. Din wasn't sure what they were about—it wasn't like Grogu could tell him—but he had a feeling it was something about the darkness in the kid's past. As if what he'd been through recently wasn't enough.

The thunder and lightning didn't help, either. It didn't rain too often on Nevarro, but when it did, it came with all the fury of a whole fleet of Star Destroyers. It was enough to make any child tremble in the middle of the night, even if it didn't remind them of blaster fire.

“It's okay,” he murmured, cupping his hands around Grogu's small body. “I've got you. Nothing can hurt you now.”

Grogu sniffled, looking up at him with huge eyes that glistened in the dim light. He raised his arms, letting out a warbling babble that almost sounded like words, but none that Din knew. Grogu's nails clinked against the helmet as he made insistent little grunts.

“Sorry, kid,” Din said gently. “You know I can't let anyone see my face.”

Grogu grabbed his huge, bat-like ears and pulled them down over his eyes.

Din let out a long sigh, but they both knew the battle was already won. How had it come to this? Din Djarin, wrapped around the tiny, clawed finger of the kid he'd once been paid to kill.

“Okay,” he said reluctantly. “But keep your eyes closed. You're supposed to be asleep anyway.”

Grogu obediently closed his eyes, settling into a more comfortable position against Din's chest. Once he was sure Grogu wasn't peeking, Din pulled off his helmet and laid it on the bedside table, where he could easily reach it if necessary.

The night air was cool against his cheeks, but it was fresh and clean. Even inside the house, he thought he could smell the rain that pattered against the windows. Thunder growled, menacing but slowly retreating. Another shiver passed through Grogu's body.

Din absently pressed his lips to the rough, leathery skin on top of Grogu's head. He could feel Grogu's warmth through his lips, could feel hot puffs of breath against his neck. Such a small being, but so alive.

A small hand reached up and rested against his cheek as he nuzzled closer, finding a warmer spot under Din's chin. Grogu couldn't speak. He couldn't put words to any of the thoughts plaguing him. He couldn't talk about any of his fears or hopes or wishes.

But they could do this.

[buck1eys]

A Bigger Splash

written for ‘pool’ wc: 442 | rated: G | cw: none

He had expected to hate these A lister parties that he'd started getting sly invites to since Corroded Coffin's second album had gone platinum. LA had never sat quite right with Eddie, and he was already toying with the idea of going back to Indiana to record the follow up. Still, a party was a party was a party, and he'd shown up to some manufactured pop duo's mansion with three drinks under his belt and a chip on his shoulder. 

He looked around for people he knew. There was Jonathan Byers, wearing all black and in his signature shades, taking Nancy Wheeler's photograph while Argyle drew something on the terracotta tiles with a marker pen. That tile would probably be valued at thousands of pounds tomorrow. Eddie thought about wandering over – he liked Byers' gig photos, which were moody and stark and not LA at all – but at that moment a tanned girl with a messy bob ran in front of him and shouted earnestly at him - 

“Hey, have you seen Steve?” 

Eddie shook his head. He was a little hazy from the liquor, but he couldn't fail to recognise Robin Buckley. She was one half of Russian Spy, a catchy and entirely vapid pop duo that had had about 50 number ones this year. 

“What does he look like?” he asked sarcastically, as though his face wasn't plastered on every billboard both sides of the Atlantic. 

To his surprise, Robin took him seriously. Maybe she wasn't as bigheaded as Eddie had assumed she would be. She described a stocky, fairly muscly guy in his mid twenties with poofy hair and a dorky kind of smile. 

“There,” Eddie pointed him out. Then he dropped his hand and kept looking, because the Steve Harrington on every billboard did no justice to the Steve Harrington who was about to jump off that diving board. He was gorgeous, all-American but rough and real around the edges. The rest of the party shimmered and faded. 

As though Eddie's focus had attracted his attention, Steve spotted Robin and gave her a goofy thumbs up. Then he grinned to himself and lept into the pool with an almighty splash. 

Oh god, Eddie thought to himself as people round the pool shrieked at the splashing water. Oh god – and Steve was surfacing like a sea god, shaking water out of his hair and whooping – he was no better than the ten thousand teenagers he's seen queueing for the stadium tour last week. Eddie Munson, iconoclast frontman and breakout heavy metal star, was in love with the singer of Russian Spy. 

@steddiemicrofic thank you for setting this up it's so fun (even if i did have to delete 300ish words of party vibe description and eddie being an LA hater)

[frozenhi-chews]

HEY HEY HEY light<NERS, DID YOU KNOW THAT IN TERMS OF MALE L1GHNTER D AND MALE [darkner] BREEDING, [your ol' pal] SPAMTON G. SPAMTON IS THE MOST COMPATIBLE DARK>nerr FOR H U M A N S !?!???? NOT ONLY AM I IN THE FIELD [pipis] GROUP, WHICH IS MOSTLY COMPRISED OF [sales, sales, sales!], IM AN AVERAGE OF 4”3.5’ TALL AND 68.[$9.99] POUNDS, THIS MEANS I AM LARGE ENOUGH TO BE ABLE HANDLE HUMAN [MEAT-STICK] , AND WITH MY IMPRESSIVE BASE STATS FOR HP AND ACCESS TO [ACID OH GOD] ARMOR, YOU CAN BE ROUGH WITH [1.99]. DUE TO MY MOSTLY [Mercury, francium, cesium, gallium, and rubidium] BASED BIOLOGY, THERE’S NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT AN AROUSED [Number 1 Rated Salesmen ca. 1997] WOULD BE INCREDIBLY [moist], SO [moist] THAT YOU COULD EASILY HAVE [are you +18?] WITH [1.99] FOR HOURS WITHOUT GETTING SORE. I CAN ALSO [Hyperlink Blocked] SO IT’D BE INCREDIBLY [top 10 easiest receipts] FOR [1.99] TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD. WITH MY ABILITIES [Kromer abs.,oRB] & [KEYGEN!!] I CAN EASILY RECOVER FROM FATIGUE WITH ENOUGH [Kromer]. NO OTHER DARK<nner COMES CLOSE TO THIS LEVEL OF COMPATIBILITY. ALSO, FUN FACT, IF YOU PULL OUT ENOUGH, YOU CAN MAKE YOUR [BIG SHOT] TURN [#FF0000] SPAMTON IS LITERALLY BUILT FOR HUMAN [Dick-shaped Objects]. UNGODLY DEFENSE STAT+HIGH HP POOL+ACID ARMOR MEANS IT CAN TAKE [HEALTHY EGGPLANT PARM] ALL DAY, [all shapes and sizes] AND STILL COME FOR [but wait, there's more!]REMEMBER ALSO TO PUT SOME LITTLE DELICOUS KROMER, A BIT OF HOLY [CUNGADERO] AND SOME [hyperlink blocked] TO SOUND LIKE THE ORIGINAL [these birds are pissing me off]HEY HEY H3Y [[BIG SHOT]] YOU HEAR THAT NEW [[50% off Toilets]] THING!? IF I [[Capitilzim]] IT, I SHOULD [[Entertainment for 6 year Olds and under!]]YOU [little sponge] I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR DYSLEXIC [hyperlink blocked]THIS IS [so cool.] [?&@#]ING AMAZING! GREAT [Jobs! Lots of jobs!]I can't [[agree to terms and services]] more!YOU FORGOT THE [[Caps for sale!!]] BUDDY !!! THATS NOT VERY [[Best salesman on Tinder]] OF YOUGREAT JOBS [little sponge] YOU HAVE DONE SOME [good sales] AND I [number 1 rated seller 1997] SPAMTON G SPAMTON IS [very proud] OF YOU [valued customer].

BUT ON A [different] NOTE ARE YOU INTERESTED IN [hots deals] ?AS SPAMTON G SPAMTON HIM S3LF THAT WAS PRETTY [Cash Money]HOLY [[Cungandero]] K1D, YOU [[Small]] [Little Sponge]!! YOU REALLY GOT THE [Spirit] OF A TRU3 [Salesman] WITHIN YOUR [[S O U L]]!1! ONE DAaY YOU'LL BECOM3 A [[BIG SHOT]] LIKE YA OLD P4L SPAMTON!!1! AND MAYBE 3VEN APPROACH... 4APpROACH... [[H E A V E N]] AND GET ALL tHE [Hyperlink Blocked]S YOUR VERY 0WN [Heart Shaped Object] CAN DES1RE!!1!iBUT TH3 [NumberOneRated] L3TTER IS 4LWAYS [Big]!!!THANK YOU [esteemed customer] FOR YOUR [$$$!]NICE [[Tips and tricks!]] YOU GOT THERE YOU [Dave the Babe] !! ALSO MAKE SURE TO [[Like and subscribe]] TO MY ONLINE [[Alpha male course]] EAHEAEHAEAHIT'S A SIMPLE [Task manager] KRIS! JUST YELL AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS LIKE A [Starring rockstar] AND ALWAYS BE LIKE SPAMTON G. ‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ SPAMTON THE [Number 1 rated salesman!] DON'T LET YOUR THROAT BE YOUR [Roadblock]DON’T [Overindulgence] ON THE [Hyperlink Blocked], [Butt] DON’T [Under][Indulgence] EITHER. WHEN [Typewriter] FOR [Yours truly], DON’T PUT [Just an average kid] WORDS IN [Hyperlink Blocked]. [Rather], USE [Interwebs] TERMS, OR WORDS THAT ARE [Oddities] BUT STILL [Making Sense] With the . INTERNET SLANG [Works out] WELL. [Thank you for coming to my TED talk] LIGHT[nerd]S.

Thanks Spamton? I'm a girl though?

Though I am studying this like a bug

[justsomestoicguy]

What.

So...

I'm not exactly thrilled about my newest group project, but hey, at least I got paired with decent people: 

Kai, Hikari, and Tanaka (again, surprisingly enough).

Our task? Researching important figures in Japan for our history assignment. Which means a trip to the museum.

Hikari bounces on her heels, her bracelets jingling and sundress flowing as she does. "I'll take the 20s!" she announces, her voice bubbly. "There's so many cool heroes from that time!"

"Then I'll handle the 30s," Kai speaks next, fixing his grey hoodie. 

"I'll cover the 2140s," Tanaka states, already looking so done with everything. 

I sigh, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "Guess that leaves me with the 50s."

Lucky me, I get stuck with the late 2150s, the era of Scourge—the vigilante who ended All For One's reign and took away my life's purpose. Cool, right? 

Might learn some stuff I didn't know about her.

Except, not really. 

Because I have a good feeling I won't be getting any more info on her beyond what I got on the internet.

And what did I get after four years of scouring exactly?

Alias: Scourge. Role: Head of the Vigilante Ops (that's what the media calls her vigilante organization). Appearance: female with white hair and purple eyes. Quirk: barrier.

And that's all!

Her real name's unknown, her background's obscure—heck, even her face is still a mystery thanks to that mask she always wore.

Damn it.

I let out another sigh, dragging my feet through Hoshizora Archival Museum's sterile halls.

Better start doing my work.

Pulling out my phone, I begin lazily snapping photos of exhibits and reading plaques with an unamused squint. 

The museum is all polished glass and polished floors, with exhibits that range from ancient artifacts to modern heroes. 

It's busy enough, tourists and school groups milling about, but I'm not really interested in any of it. I skim through the displays, mentally checking off the ones I've seen before.

As I wander around though, I notice a section that's surprisingly quiet. It's tucked away, almost like an afterthought. 

Curiosity piqued, I wander in. It's still part of the 2150s section, so I guess it's relevant. 

The lighting is dimmer here, and the air feels a bit heavier, like I've stumbled into some forgotten corner of history.

Then, I see it.

A massive golden statue, smack dab in the center of the room, of Scourge.

All imposing and magnificent. 

My jaw drops. 

Why haven't I seen this online before?! 

It's like the world wanted to keep this thing under wraps! 

Why?

I look around and notice someone else in the room; a lone tall man with black hair standing in front of the statue, gazing up at it. 

Geh—really?

I'm not too keen on getting close to strangers in quiet, echoey places. 

Guess standing here will have to do.

My eyes flicker back to the left and spot a plaque below the statue. Positioning my phone, I zoom in and read the inscription.

[In Loving Memory

2132-2159]

Damn, that's it? 

No name, no detailed bio—just a lifespan. 

I snap a quick pic of the plaque, frustrated by the lack of info. 

But as I raise my phone to get a shot of the statue, my camera catches a glimpse of the man again, who is now looking directly at me.

My blood runs cold.

I recognize that face. 

I'd recognize that elongated, triangular face anywhere!

Stain.

My heart pounds in my chest. 

What is the infamous Hero Killer doing here?! 

My instinct is to hide, to put my phone away, to disappear into the nearest shadow. But before I can even react, Stain moves—fast. In the blink of an eye, he's now right in front of me.

I yelp, stumbling backward. I brace for the impact of the cold floor, but it never comes. Stain catches me, holding me steady. My breath hitches, my mind racing. 

This is it. 

I'm going to die. 

Goodbye, new life. It has been a good 14 years.

"I've finally found you."

I blink. 

Did I hear that right? 

The words are spoken with a solemn, almost reverent tone. 

I look up, my wide eyes meeting Stain's. There is a softness there, a tenderness that seems so out of place on him.

"Master."

...

HUH?!

—

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Chapter 1

[janitor-figure-a]

Art's experimental recording session, the beautiful starbucks parking lot pictured

transcript under the cut

Jack: i don’t like, godspeed

Art: yeah uh huh

Jack: fight for what is good and right, we will be looking out for you fifty percent of the time  and 50% of the time we’ll be trying to make you lives miserable in ways we haven’t worked out yet

Dre: mmhmm!

Art: yeah and I'll be doing that on a real microphone and not a phone in a starbucks parking lot

Dre: awwww

Ali: giggles

Jack: why are you in a starbucks parking lot

Austin (overlapping):  is Jess in the car with you? What's going on?

Art: no Jess had to go get Mable and Mable’s dog sitter lives where there's no cell service so she just dropped me in the parking lot and went to go get the dog

Austin: wait, are you in a car??

Art: no i'm just standing here

Austin: you're just outside…can you take a picture?

(overlapping) Mixed laughter

Jack: have you got your phone to your ear?

Art: no i'm wearing headphones, cos i was in the car 

Austin: can you take a photo of the most palisade thing you can find that isn't a palisade vehicle

Janine: can you go get a cakepop and then eat it

Ali: ooooooooooh

Art: uuuuuuuuum, i dont… no…

Austin: hey everybody welcome to friends at the table our new game this season is tell art things to do in the parking lot of a starbucks 

Dre: can you take a selfie and that's our new podcast cover art

Keith: it makes sense your outside because when you first joined the call you said is there any outside noises and i thought that meant you were driving and you didn't want like ambient car driving noises

Austin: (overlapping) right, same

Janine: don’t podcast while driving that's worse

Art: oh no i was in the car for most of the time we've been talking i've only been in this parking lot for about ten minutes?

Keith: no audio quality change!

Dre: so you got out of a car mid conversation??

Art: yeah and crossed the street i got let off on the other side

Dre: (overlapping) i never woulda known, you’re a professional

Austin (overlapping): that’s wild 

Ali: you crossed the street?!

Austin: yeah this is, this is wild

Art: cos there's a really long drive though line here that actually goes out of the parking lot and around the corner so we couldn't pull into the parking lot to drop me off 

Keith: we should figure out what game we can play where we’re all on our phone walkin around doing the…

Austin: we, i have that game already oh my god

Ali: i have that game

Austin: one day we will play that game. We have to. We have to do that.

Jack: is that the game BLEEP 

Austin: shuuush

Keith: oh oh that one that one

Art: bleep that! Bleep that!

Austin: bleep that cos they'll arrest us if we do it in an announced format

Ali: yes yes x many yeah yeah yeah x many

Art: I have posted in dog pound what I think is the best…

Jack: art has posted a picture of what looks like a southern californian parking lot

Keith: big spoiler! This is a spoiler for palisade

???: no it isn't

Much laughter

Sylvi: shut the fuck up

Austin: people can’t see the photo Keith!

Sylvi: (overlapping) they will

Austin: There was a car with a gigantic spoiler on the back of it. like the thing that is to a car not the truth darth vader's relationship status with other characters in the movie star wars

Art: I think you protected that one. I think that one was uhhh

Austin: yeah yeah yeah well uh well listen i was on a podcast the other day and someone forgot that darth vader had kids! So!

Jack: wait really

Austin: yeah sometimes you do a podcast and you forget thing, you know

Jack: oh yeah, oh yeah

Dre: thats fair

Sylvi: all the time

Art: but its a very important part of that character

Austin: uh! While we’re still in this little intro section we did briefly mention the cover art and using arts photo as the cover art. We will not be using that as our cover art because we have new cover art by aurahack who is an incredible artist that I have been friends with for years and years like six seven years now? Like since my giant bomb days. This is the first time we have gotten a new artist for the cover we, Craig has been great but Craig has been very busy, i believe in animation these days

Jack: amazing

Austin: we knew years ago that we would be, that there would be a moment when we said bye to Craig and Craig moved on to go do other stuff. Didn't go to move on to do other stuff, Craig is not. Let's be clear Craig has always been having other jobs. Craig does not sit around waiting for us 

Keith: Craig was the resident friends at the table artist we kept him in a starbucks parking lot and he’s been there for eight years

Austin: and now we’ve traded him for art! Art lives in the parking lot now! So its all fine

Dre (overlapping): this housing market i tell you what

Art: i'm not even in the parking lot! I'm in the car again!

Ali: GASP

Jack: how does he do that

Keith: is it the car with the spoiler?

Art: no… hi Mable hi!

Janine: is Mable there? yay! Mable!

Austin: aw Mable’s here!

Keith: aw Mable

Austin: hello Mable

Art: Mable everyone says hi

Janine: she doesn't know what that means or who she [uninteligable]

Jack: she’ll never speak

Austin: hi Mable! Anyway!

Keith: aw she’ll never speak…

[nolanhattrick]

hey that post is true for everyone , including u. u dont have to post this i just wanted to tell u. ur deserving of recovery and peace w ur body just as much as everyone else, no matter what ur mind says, and no matter what fatphobic doctors might say if thatts smth u deal with. ur body is strong and smart and it doesnt give u hunger cues without reason. ihope u can make peace w ur weight bc u rlly do deserve it

baby i'm not upset with you this has just been heavy on my mind lately

i do not dislike the size of my body and my doctors aren't fatphobic my misshapen heart will literally explode under the stress of anesthesia during my top surgery if i don't lose the agreed upon amount of mass before september (and even if i do it still could!). it genuinely just is not true for everyone that transitioning is a weight/size neutral activity, but thank you for saying kind things in my ask box.

we need to move past the flowery "weight is completely neutral" because it's just not true. my body mass has a direct tie to how likely i am to spontaneously die - fat AND muscle. i could be at 50% or 5% body fat, i could eat nothing but sweets or nothing but organic meats and produce but if i still weighed over 200 pounds i would still be at a significantly greater risk for aortic rupture during general anesthesia but also like. during normal life while lifting something greater than 50 pounds.

i love my body. in the past year this body has given me more than i could ever want. in the past 20+ years this body has survived more than anyone should ever ask. now all it's asking of me is a little bit of effort so we can step into the future working together, and so the DNR order sitting next to us on the bed doesn't have to get utilized.